As most of you know, I have a 4 month old named Chuck. Very few of you know the circumstances surrounding how she joined our family. I met her "father" online. Brilliant, no? He seemed like a good guy, trustworthy, wanted to look out for the kids and me. Hated my ex with the fire of a thousand suns. Seemed legit. I needed a roommate, so we decided he should move out of his mom's house (he was only there because he was job hunting...for the last year) and move to Colorado to live with us. I know, every red flag has been raised for every single one of you, but I didn't see it. I have a tendency to trust people until they've proven that they can't be trusted. I need to make people earn that trust. I get that now, and I'm trying to do better.
He moved out here and shortly after that we went on a trip to SDCC and Nerd HQ in San Diego. The trip had been planned for another friend (yes, just a friend), that had to cancel, so it was just a matter of switching the names on the plane tickets. My sister and my mom and her fiance watched the kids while we were gone. I needed a vacation badly, so there were a ton of things I overlooked while we were in CA...things like the time where I had to walk back to the hotel by myself at 4:00 AM because he "didn't hear his phone," "didn't know I was leaving" even though I told him that directly, and his "phone was dead." When he had stated for the whole two months we'd know each other that drugs are bad and he didn't do drugs, etc, but he had no issues taking a joint from a random stranger on the sidewalk. I think I slapped him at that point. I really don't remember. I know there was a lot of yelling about how I had trusted him and let him move in *with my children* and how he didn't have enough respect for me to actually be honest with me about things.
I remember not wanting to be around him much while we were in San Diego because a) he was all mopey and ridiculous b) he had to constantly pick stupid little fights with me about everything and c) I wasn't allowed to get angry about anything, like the multiple times he ditched me and wouldn't answer his phone or respond to texts. "My phone was dead" was a pretty common excuse, but there were phone chargers all over the place at HQ, so I didn't really believe that either. I found that I was much happier hanging out with my friends when he wasn't around anyway. We went up to LA after HQ and he continued to be his douchey self on pretty much every level, then doing something small to make up for it so I would be temporarily happy.
When we got home, I should have told him to move out. I didn't. I had to move my kids out of the house that the ex and I bought because it was being auctioned off since the ex never wanted to resolve anything with the bank and I wasn't on the loan so they refused to talk to me. Anyway, the new loser and I started looking for a place. House prices here are ridiculous and there was no way I could afford anything big enough for my family on what I make plus what I receive in child support. I needed a roommate, so I let him stay. My sister was living with us over summer break and went back to college shortly after we moved into this house.
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